I cried. I am giving up. I don't have the strength. But, I'm thinking of moving on.
Dearest family,
Maybe I have done mistakes. Maybe I am the troublemaker of this family. If you guys think of me being lucky, the luckiest person in this world, or the luckiest in this family, I am not thinking like that. For me, it is a GIFT. GIFT from Him to me. I appreciate everything I have/had in being and be one of the members in this family. I could not ask for more. But, I have one wish. I am just being 21 years old daughter, sister, who wants to know what is LIFE and FUN is all about. Let me grow like other teens does. Seriously. If you guys see me with nothing, with no future, with this childish or immature character, I actually have a big plan in my life. I have those plan, I just want to paint it with the support I have from my family, loved ones and friends. But, for now, I can't do nothing with it. I have to go with the flow. I have to follow those laws and rules. I have too. I just can't obey it.
After finish Diploma, I was thinking on getting a job that I love, like or maybe that suits me. I want to work with the qualifications I have. I want to try it. Like my friends did, they all experiencing all that. But me? I've been planned. I would love to work with SonyBMG, monkeybone or all those kind of company, magazines, radio, tv and obviously anything that relates to entertainment. I miss internship. I do. Why? I just miss it very much. Or if I don't get a job, I want to stay at home and spend my time with my family, my mom who stays at home daily and play with my nephews, nieces and like that. Weekends, if I don't have any activity with the familia, I do plan to hang out with my friends. If not, home is where I am.
But, now. Everything has changed. I go to work, as my dad asked. Monday to Friday, I go to work, I do HAVE only weekends to hang out with my friends. Don't you get it? I have been wasted my time for 5 days in the office, and home and weekend? I can't hang out with my friends. I can't have a movie time, chit-chat time, and bla bla bla. and also I can't have a vacay with them too? Why? Get the picture? I did everything you guys asked me too, but for one REQUEST. I've been blame. I've been attacked. I've been scold. Oh. I don't know what else do I have to go on with this life? I do feel giving up, I don't have the strength, but I know I have to move on. Huu.
Being a teenagers in this modernize and technological world, I know it is hard for you guys to see me grown ups like this. But, face the fact, please. I don't know how to keep me feel motivated day by day. Everyday, when I woke up? I said this to myself ' Do I have too? ', 'why?'
I don't have the answers.
Problems is always a big opportunity in life. Life is just hard and complicated.
I want to keep moving on. I want to do something with my life, maybe.
I want to get fit and on diet, control my food taken and also to start back my online shopping.
My bags, shoes, shirts, and maybe books or belts are waiting to be sell.
Online shopping blog make me crazy, and because of this reason. I have to do something with my figure.
Too many distractions, less little place and time to express. Here I go, typing on this blog.
Feel me with tears, accept me with sympathy.
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